Giving birth

I don't know about you but as time progressed I felt more and more weary about giving birth, having a elective c-section has become so much of a norm and me being the control freak I am; it just seemed unnaturally natural for me at least.

As the days passed, I thought about what could go wrong. Do women still die in today's day and age whilst giving birth? What if something goes wrong, I mean Mia was a big girl and what if she got stuck? The questions went on and on. I lambasted myself for being such a wimp. Worried about the pain and consoled myself that I will have an epidural.

My sister in law gave birth about 6 months before me and just told us how she gave birth all naturally, and I mused at how brave she was while I planned all the pain medication that I would like to have at hand. I felt slightly better and tried to calm myself that this was what and how nature intended. I did not necessarily felt any better, but there was no way I was going to chicken out.

I had terrible lower back pains throughout the course of my pregnancy but this worsened as my time drew near, in the last month of my pregnancy I had continuous pain and was in a permanent state of waiting to have a “get out of my body experience” - to use “The Rough Guide To - Pregnancy's” phrase. I wonder why they have not brought out a “Birth for Dummies” book yet, as it might make everyone more relaxed to understand that what is going on more, and maybe alleviate some tension, although I don't think a lack of information was the problem maybe on the contrary, I remembered the scenes for our natural birth video. I remembered dogs and cows giving birth.

So my due date arrived, I got up all ready to go, face the music and the day, and just get this over with. The fact that I have just had a very uncomfortable Christmas and an even worse New Year was not really helping the course. I also got very fed-up with the question of whether I was still walking if you could see I was still doing exactly that.

So we went over for 2 days after my due date, and yes my contractions did start in the middle of the night, and yes it was painful, although I have no real memory of it. I think nature is amazing, you are programmed to give birth and you are programmed to forget the pain, you can never begin to explain this to anyone, who has not had a child.

My contractions were all in my back, and as they started at 1:30 in the morning, I thought there was no need to raise Rigard from sleep, as it was going to take hours to get to the point, where I would need some intervention. I waited it out, unable to sleep until 6:30 when it dawned on me that I think now is the time for me partner in crime to help me. You know back rub, pilates balls, all the stuff you planned for.

I woke him up, and still half asleep he tried to rub my back, I nearly went through the roof, my back was so sore that I could not stand his touch. The pains got worse, to the point where I did not know what to do with myself. I tried the bath, the toilet, gripping the seat and roaring with pain. I thought I was going to have the baby right there in our bathroom, on our humble abode.

Around 10:00 I told Rigard that I think we should get ready for hospital. He rushed around getting his bag ready, wanting to go and buy some boiled sweets, and batteries and the Lord alone knows what else he needed, while I just groaned and thought to myself that they should tell partners in the ante-natal classed to get their bags packed when the mother packs her bag.

So armed with his bag, my bag and Mia's bag we set of to hospital. We got there, and as it was weekend, we went through the emergency rooms, and I got to ride the wheelchair. As it was my luck it was weekend, and my doctor was on leave, so I would not know the doctor who would ultimately deliver Mia, I must say at this stage the fears were gone and I was completely in the moment. I was ready to get this done as well as I can.   

We got to the maternity ward, I explained what was going on, I got a bed and a monitor, and we started to complete more forms. The needle that was charting my contractions hardly moved as I lay there squirming with pain, now knowing that I am a wimp. We waited for the doctor to come and have a look at me, and see what was up.

He came in at 13:30 and by 13:45 he examined me told me that I am 1 cm dilated and that I should go home and wait it out, he'll see me in the morning. So we left, me still squirming, walking through the front door. Driving the 30 minutes back to Melkbos.

When we got there, things just got worse, I was in even more pain and there was no comfortable place for me to be, no position that offered any reprieve. I squirmed on the toilet, and the bath, ran around the house in a semi-clothed state, moaning... By 16:00 I told Rigard I could take it no further and told him to phone someone for another opinion. He knew I was being very honest, he started phoning the lady who presented the ante-natal classes no answer. We had a chat and decided he should phone the hospital, as he was talking to the maternity ward sister, and I was sitting in the bath, my water broke with such force that I could see the amniotic fluid rush out of my womb down my legs to the knees within seconds. I screamed that my water broke, he told the nurse and she told us to make our way here. Rigard helped me out of the bath, and went to get the car out. I was thinking thank God we packed his bag this morning, otherwise I would definitely have this baby right here.

He came to help me to the car, I remembered the towel for the car seat, we drove with me screeching and moaning, screaming and whimpering and every bump in the road. Back to the maternity ward, again through the emergency room... Down the corridor, trying to moan quietly. Into the ward, back to my old room. Back on the monitor. While the sister was putting the monitor back on my stomach, I had a contraction and squirmed in the bed, she asked me if I wanted to push when I felt the contractions, I told her I have had this urge now for the last 4 or 5 hours. She swooped to do vaginal examination, took her hand out, told me that I was  8 centimetres dilated, and that I should try and hold back, she rushed to fetch me the laughing gas. The epidural was not going to happen and I was going to have to go it all natural.

Rigard left my side as we got to the hospital to complete the admin. By the time he got back I was moved to the theatre and there was a buzz of excitement and everyone got ready for me to go the last mile. I was given papers to consent to Mia receiving injections once she is born. They tried to take my blood-pressure but I blew the the band around my arm out, so they were unable to. The doctor arrived, looked at me and went to get his kit on. The sister was with me all the time, and Rigard was at my side not looking at though he knew what to say or do.

I had the laughing gas mask in my one arm and gripped the mattress behind my head with my other, I was focussed on getting this done as fast as possible. At exactly 18:30 I told the doctor that I am ready and we should get this over with, and that was when Mia was born...

She was beautiful and perfect, she gave a small yelping sound and looked at the world with wide open eyes. While they took her away under the watchful eyes of her father, I was stitched up. By the time I was finished with birthing the after-birth she was brought back for breastfeeding. I was able to get up and walk to take a bath about two hours after giving birth.

I must say that this is one of the, if not the, most amazing experiences of my life. As I said earlier, I can't remember the details of giving birth or the associated pain, but I do know that if ever in the same situation I will choose to go this route, without a doubt...