Blame it on TV

I am not sure if TV is completely to blame for the skewed vision people have of life in general or whether there are other culprits.

I mean let's start at the beginning, giving birth. Most movies and shows; show a person in labour, this always starts off with the water that broke, then progresses in either a "car chase" type scene or finding a relatively comfortable spot to lie down. Pushing a couple of times while a person who has no idea what should be happening catches the baby in the back of the car. All is well that ends well... The problem is we believe that.

Then mother and baby is sent home where baby sleeps and eats on cue, and mother wakes every morning looking gorgeous and rested, not to mention baking something like flapjacks for her family. Oh what oats is this? Why do we buy the myth and why is no-one thinking that this is all hot air?

The reality is far removed from this. In most cases today you find very few people who had "natural" birth, or a vaginal birth rather. Very few had their water breaking naturally. Even fewer sleep the first couple of weeks after the birth, and the baby is not the little pristine, cutesy, sleeping one that you see on TV. Babies are real people with a will and mind of their own, and an inability to communicate their basic need – as they don't even know what their basic need is. In the article about speech development, it is outlined that in the first month baby's crying is reflex and covers all their needs regardless of which level these may be.

Now I am not saying that being a parent is hell, no I am saying that our ideas and ideals of being a parent has been skewed by the media's representation of being a parent, and goes even further of being a partner, being engaged, being rich, being happy and even being healthy. The problem I have is that we just collectively buy into the image created and try and measure against what we think is real, as in realistic.

I also think that our fellow brothers and sisters in arms are not being truthful in what the adjustments are in being healthy, happy, rich, engaged, a partner, a husband, a wife and then a father or mother. We make ourselves unhappy in the expectation that it will be perfect, and then we do not have the ability to say:  "Hey hold on this is not GREAT, this is actually shitty and you know what I need help..." Being anything takes blood, sweat and tears, and that includes being a parent.

People who need help are humans like you and me, and they could be your neighbour, it could be your boss, but ultimately it could be you... I think that there might not be a way to prepare you for the impact a new life will have on yours; but it could help if you have a realistic idea in what to think or hope for.