How breastfeeding worked for me

I always knew I would do that with my child, as I always thought positive about it. Most of my friends who had kids before me breastfed their babies and I watched them. It looked so peaceful, loving, just right. I never felt that way when I saw a mother giving a bottle. I anyway think that women have breasts to please and feed their babies and not only to please some men,or to make them look nice in a nice top,or dress. I even tasted some breast milk (calm down guys,it was expressed on a spoon) years ago from a very good friend of mine, as I was curious about the taste. I must say my own milk tasted far better for me;-).

The fact that breast milk contains over 400 substances you can't find in formula (they can't copy them) plus so many others they haven't yet discovered, let alone their interactions. Only in 2002(!!) the most essential fatty acids for brain developing (DHA and ARA) were added to formula. So you can only imagine how many other very important substances are still missing in formula and will always be missing.

Further the baby sends neurological impulses with his lips through sucking motions on the nipples and the mothers brain changes the consistence and substances of the breast milk like antibodies immuno globulin, minerals, vitamins, hormones, proteins, fatty acids, antioxidants and many, many more constantly throughout every single feed. You can't put all of this 'stuff' in formula,that's why no formula in the world today and in the future will ever be able to copy human milk. Doesn't matter what the companies write on their fancy cans,how 'close' their formula is to breast milk. A pity then that 'the closest yet' is so many miles away from the real thing. Biggest rubbish you can read. We are the only mammal in the world which is able to survive artificial milk from the first day of birth. That doesn't mean that it is good for us,it is only suitable and we as humans are just very good when it comes to adapting to 'weird circumstances'.

Formula is good to let your baby grow big, if you don't breastfeed your child for whatever reasons, but has none, really none health benefits compared to breast milk. Getting breastfed is the biggest advance for your child in any way,as most of us know: for mom's and baby's health, the future relationship between you and your child psychologically, physiologically,environmentally and not to forget, the much higher IQ of breastfed children! We are three children, my younger sister and I never got a sip of breast milk (thank you for 'trying' mama), my older brother got a few feeds. She had 'not enough milk' for my brother to continue, for us girls she didn't even try. My mother who had to undergo an operation for her backs sake when she got older, as she had 3kg breasts,so we are talking about milk jugs. (I am so blessed not taking after my mother;-), but that doesn't matter any way, as size doesn't matter when it comes to feeding a baby. None of my mothers three sisters breastfed their children. So far to the family history.

Me always being a very sick child with asthmatic bronchial problems and lots of allergies, was one reason more to feed my child. My mother kept joking about me getting every flu they warned the people of in the newspapers; that's how sick I always was. I had a constant runny nose throughout every winter. I didn't want my child to be always sick like I was, as I am sure that was mainly because I wasn't breastfed. I know that most of you will not agree with me and before you start getting upset with me (if you are not already) and stop reading the rest of this article, please, give me a chance! I want to be clear that I am not saying all formula fed babies are sick. Nor am I saying that all breastfed babies are healthy. For sure there are also other great factors why the one is healthier than the other one:like stressful pregnancy,labour medication and other birth effects, psychological aspects, if a child was vaccinated, relationship to the parents, when solids where introduced, the quality of the food available, the right nutrition plan and poisoning and environmental reasons! I am just telling you what I think and experienced while I was breastfeeding my child and about beneficial stuff I have read and being told,while I am hoping to help and empower you a little through your breastfeeding journey!

But now to my breastfed daughter: I know some women didn't enjoy breastfeeding or even experienced pain and I feel sorry for them and even more for their babies,because surely with the right help or advice the moms would have been successful (if they wanted to be). Some women just have an aversion to feed their baby which is probably due to their wrong upbringing and lack of confidence in their own body and ability. Actually 99,9% of all women can breastfeed, but if you listen around you, you will hear way to often that most had been told they had a 'milk producing problem' or for some other 'serious' reason or other kind of bla,bla... whatever, couldn't do so and we can't all now the 0,1% which are left,can we? So how come? Why are so many mothers being told they are not producing enough milk, that breastfeeding is really difficult (bullsh...) and that a lot of women can't do it at all. (Remember,only 0,1% really can't). If we could try to stop think about it, if it were really true that not many women could breastfeed without intervention then humans as a species would have died out long ago. Why on earth questioning a natural process that has ensured our survival for 200,000 years?Animals don't worry whether they'll have enough milk or that feeding might be difficult. Surely most women feel bad or guilty about not doing the 'right thing', others just act so, others act like they don't care and some others simply really don't care at all. I think one reason is that most people are not supportive when it comes to nursing your child and many women give up to early in the tiring first days.

Sadly the experience of nursing a baby and support to each other is not handed over any more from mother to daughter,or sister to sister and so on,as most of them didn't breastfeed,or if they did just for a short while. Breastfeeding is something we learn from those around us and as such is affected by social and cultural influences. So in our few last generations of mainly formula fed children it is often difficult to get help from close,female relatives. It is amazing how many new moms have never actually seen anyone breastfeed - no wonder it doesn't seem to come naturally,if it has been such a secret all this time. Research has found that seeing family and friends breastfeeding and accepting breastfeeding as the 'normal' way to feed one's baby is one of the most significant factors affecting a women's choice of feeding method. The best you could possibly do,is to watch other mothers nursing and ask friends or family who did nurse successfully,to watch you nurse your child. They will tell you which position worked for them,how to let your child latch on properly and a lot of other beneficial things. If you have no breastfeeding friends seek out your nearest breastfeeding support group and go along for a few sessions. Not only you will see breastfeeding in action but you'll also have a ready made group of supportive friends to go back to, once your baby is born. My best friend(who nursed her son for 12months) for example asked me why I am rocking forward and backwards while I was nursing my baby while I was sitting,when she was about two weeks old. If I don't think that I might make it more difficult for her to suck through the constant motion and make her getting sleepy earlier, too early maybe to get a full satisfied feed and that she might demand food much earlier again,because of that. Sounded logical,didn't it? I never rocked her again. (While she was feeding;-) That's what I mean with best advice you only get from successful feeders,a other friend told me how important it is to place the whole areola in the baby's mouth,so you will not feel pain at all and to always delatch them as soon as you feel any discomfort, while you insert your little finger into the corner of your babies mouth, so they let go of your nipple and you can put them on properly again. My daughter demanded food for weeks every 1,5-2hours before she settled to a 3-4 hour sleep and I never used nipple cream or had sore or cracked nipples. Sure they were a little sensitive for a few days at the beginning till they got used to my 'sucking little parasite' that's how I called her sometimes lovingly, but I promise you they were never sore. I never used soap or shower cream on my breast,only pure water. I also never washed them before or after feeding. Nature or in this case the saliva of your child and your breast milk drying on your nipples is the best nipple cream you can get and it doesn't cost a thing. It is VERY IMPORTANT to learn or to get shown how to latch on your child properly as you can obviously only enjoy and continue feeding,if you don't experience pain.  And breastfeeding correctly doesn't hurt at all. Also avoid using artificial nipples, it doesn't matter how your nipple form is, the baby will learn how to 'use' it. You might only confuse it with an artificial one and the baby will not get the 'fat, filling milk at the end of the feed which makes you sooner or later giving breastfeeding up,as your  baby will get unhappy. That happened to somebody I know and I read several times about it. Also make sure to specify in your birth plan,if you have one,that you do not want your baby to be given any kind of artificial food,dummies or artificial teats unless approved by you. You'd be surprised how free and easy 'well' meaning hospital staff can be with formula milk or dummies. That's also one reason I didn't leave my child alone with staff in hospital, either my friend or my husband were watching, if I couldn't. Unfortunately very often failure is programmed already by the health assistant, which for sure are all going to tell you that breastfeeding is best, but unfortunately also most of them will recommend formula feeding as soon as the first 'problems' in their eyes appear, instead of giving you right advice or recommending a lactation consultant immediately, if you don't have other support. I suggest the first question anybody should ask is, if the health assistant or if he's male, his wife breastfeed herself and how long!! Somebody who did not have a positive experience will not give you the right advice. At the first visits they start weighing your child (breastfed kids pick up slower then bottle-fed kids) instead of assuring a mother that everything is fine when the child has six wet nappies a day, even if it doesn't pick up yet in the first few weeks. My baby had six wet ones and soiled her nappy everyday, often a few times a day,where my niece (one month younger) while she was fully breastfed only 'poohed' once a week for months, which is fine as well. The second time I had my child weight after she was born was when she was 6weeks old. You should just trust in your body and think positive about it, especially if the child seems happy and has regular wet nappies.

Signs for dehydration:
- sunken fontanelle
- significant colour or odour of the urine(should be clear and almost odourless.)
- fewer than six very wet nappies a day
- dry skin that doesn't go back immediately after being pinched
Only if the baby has any of this symptoms you should get medical assistance. Frequent feedings (can be up to 18 times in 24hours) are NOT A SIGN OF NOT ENOUGH milk. If the baby shows none of above mentioned symptoms of dehydration,has a good healthy colour and can be heard swallowing after every couple of sucks, you are not having a problem with your milk supply. Remember any form and amount of formula milk added early days to feed the baby, while trying to get breastfeeding working for you is taking your first step to the ending of your breastfeeding experience. Every ounce of formula you add to feed your baby, your body will not be able to produce, as it has not got demanded(sucked)from your baby and any bottle offered to early makes the baby fussy on the breast, as it is more work to get the milk out of the breasts and it might get a 'nipple confusion'. If you really want to succeed,please don't 'pump' to 'see' how much you produce,put your child on your breast, feed on demand to produce enough and don't, DON'T GIVE UP !!

In our generation of formula fed babies it is almost not 'chic' or 'not normal to breastfeed', at least not to do so for long. Most people think the heavier the baby the more healthy. Complete nonsense. My child was always and is healthy,I mean REALLY healthy. She was always smaller and lighter than the 'average line' (so was I my whole life) in the examination book and I only found out long after I stopped feeding her, that this scale is based on formula fed babies. So after by accident finding a graph in the internet (promom.org) of babies exclusively breastfed for 6 months and then up to 12 months with introducing solids like I did,I compared her details and my child was a perfect 50% average line. That's how much you should care about the weighing. Actually most successful feeding moms don't weigh their children in the first few weeks. Remember as you are not formula feeding, you give your child best quality, not quantity is that what counts. As I already said, feed always on demand, never ever follow a schedule as you'll have days where your child seems to want to feed the whole day and you might even have it attached to you hourly, but this is only a growing spurt and your milk supply will adapt naturally this way, to suit your child's needs. This usually stops after a few days and again, it is NOT a sign of too little milk. And the most of it is done after six weeks. The first six weeks of breastfeeding can be hard, there is no denying that, but I think the first six weeks after birth are always tiring, despite of what are you feeding. But the rewards of breastfeeding are worth it, if you persevere. For most moms that is the point at which everything falls into place-feeds become more comfortable and relaxed, supporting pillows are done away with and the experience really does become a rewarding one. It is important to remember that you are not alone and if you do experience any problems THEY CAN be overcome with the right support. If you have any concerns or difficulties with any aspect of breastfeeding call La Leche League. Even if your medical aid doesn't cover sessions with them, you should not avoid seeking help because of financial reasons, it is worth paying a lactation expert. The formula to feed the baby for the first year will cost you at least about 15 times more than a visit with a lactation consultant, not to mention the additional medical expenses that may arise because of the proven much bigger risk of illness and much higher hospitalisation rate of formula-fed babies. So think how many days you would have to take off to look after your sick child, or rush it to the doctor and also think about the major cost of buying formula for your child. For your baby's future health every month you are continuing to breastfeed will pay of, for both of you.

At about 12 weeks you get another growth spurt, but this are only common, usual dates. It can happen any time, as perfect working nature balances demand and supply automatically. Some even close people may not be supportive: I remember my mother coming to tidy up my house and to bring me some cooked meals after my daughter being a week old and I eventually send her home telling her, she must not come again to stress me out. She came constantly in our bedroom asking something, or talking to me while I was busy nursing my child. I had from the beginning a good tune to my baby's needs and I knew that she wanted my whole attention, as she did let go of my nipple before when I started speaking to my husband for longer, so I asked my mother to not interrupt my feeding and to wait with her questions until we are finished. My mother did not have a lot of understanding, she joked about the way I think about my baby's needs, telling me she fed her babies too (bottle) and they did not get upset when she was talking. Well, now she definitely upset me, that was the last time I accepted her tiding up my house. Unfortunately if you breastfeed exclusively you will also meet people (mostly women which never breastfeed or only did it for a very short while) which are going to tell you some nonsense: My aunt for example told me my 'poor' one month old baby wants to feed so frequent, because it doesn't get 'full' from my breasts any more and I should give the 'poor' baby now formula and must not let it 'starve' longer; my baby was totally happy and just in a growing spurt. Others said, if I don't know that it is 'not necessary' to feed longer then six months. Somebody else argued with me when my baby was five months, as I said that I am not introducing solids before six months, but also not before she shows me signs of being ready for solids. "My poor, little girl getting only the breast, not even formula to fill her up nicely and now I don't even want to give her solids, what a bad mom I am". Some friends of my husband (all girls) looked almost shocked when I put my baby with four months on my breast in a restaurant, while the waiter came to take the order and backed of immediately (polite guy). I am sure they wouldn't have looked like that, if I would have taken a bottle out of my bag. I didn't give a sh...! I would have not rushed in the bathroom or in the car with my child,let it wait unnecessary for her feed and stress her and me, just because some people are inhibited or have some kind of complex. If you can, don't let people upset you.

I tell you how it worked for me: When they put her on my breast after birth, she searched for my nipple. I helped her putting it in her mouth. As she started sucking it tingled a little the first seconds. It didn't feel weird or sore,like I thought it might maybe feel at first. It felt wonderful, just right. After leaving hospital (my baby was with me 24 hours) I did co-sleeping for two months, means she was in a carry-cot sleeping next to me on the bed and when she needed to nurse I rolled over, or rolled her out towards me and fed her while we were both resting, which I can highly recommend as the best feeding position for the first few weeks and any time you have a bed around. I didn't have to stand up to fetch her out of a cot in her room next door and bring her back in. I decided to do so after the first night with her at home and me getting exhausted of standing up every 1,5 hours for a fed. You also don't worry about not hearing your child. It was just perfect this way. I often dozed off while she was suckling. I fed her immediately as soon as she started moving and searching around. I never ever waited for her to cry before she got a feed, as that stresses them only and could make them fussy or reluctant to feed. I think it's great that my child never had to cry to get fed, because it had to wait for a bottle. Up to this day I can proudly say that my daughter (30months old) never drank a sip of formula in her life. And had only one hand full of bottles of tea fed by Ouma and Oupa to make them feel happy,when she was 4months old and they got to see her first time in real life, when we visited them for a six weeks summer holiday in SA. We flew with her for the first time from Germany to Greece when she was 21 days old. Then to the mentioned stay with the grandparents for 13 hours from Germany to Cape Town. It was so great never to worry about formula,sterilised water,enough bottles, dummies and so on. All the other babies started screaming of ear ache while climbing and descending of the plane, while she was happily sucking on my boobs. Travelling is so much easier this way. After we both became 'breastfeeding professionals' and she slept a little longer around two months, she slept in a Moses basket which was standing right next to my bed. I could touch her when I lifted my arm out. Around five months we moved her in a cot right next to our bed, as she got to big for the basket and should have done this earlier as she slept even longer from then on.  At 8,5 months we moved her cot in her own room,without having any problems. From the first night she slept for 9 hours before she woke up and it was never a problem to put her down in her own room, even though she was used to sleep in our room from the beginning. I still gave her a feed as soon as she wanted to. When I went to shopping malls or out with her for hours and she was getting hungry while I was in a shop, I just went into dressing rooms quickly,so she can suck in peace. When I saw her 'searching' I even lifted my shirt somewhere in a corner, to feed her immediately. You get very good with this after a while and do it so invisible, that most people will not even realize what you are doing there. I anyway think it's the most natural thing to do for mammals and people who look and think weird, or are even nasty enough to make unpleasant comments are totally ignorant idiots and you should just ignore them. I was self-confident enough to do it everywhere. If the bottle-feeders aren't forced to feed their babies in the bathroom why should you? Remember,you are giving your child the greatest gift and advance and these ignorant people who react strange, did not have a mother like you are, otherwise they would react naturally to it, because that's what it is-It is natural! Sadly some people in our sick society don't think so. Not so long ago me and my daughter saw a mother nursing a baby and I told my child that she also drank from my 'boobies', when she was a baby. Believe it or not, I laughed as she said: "Mmh,the milk from Mamas' 'boobies' was lekker!" and I stopped feeding her over a year ago. Amazing that she still remembers and even the taste.

I let her decide when to introduce solids as I think the baby will show you everything you need to know. Just watch out for the signals. She showed interest in our food when she was exactly six months and two weeks old and then only I started with vegetables. Up to this point we only let her suck for fun on the inside of a grape or so. I only gave her organic fruit and veg for her first year. It is a great feeling to hold your child in your arms and to know that you and only you kept it alive with feeding it from your own body. My husband loved the fact that I was feeding her. Not only because he was very lucky to never had to stand up to prepare bottles, he often helped by picking her up,bringing and burping her after the feed and putting her back in her cot, to support me. When she was 11months old I started only feeding her in the morning when she woke up, in the evening before she went down and before her 'naps' during the day. With 12 months I cut the breakfast drink and only fed her before her naps during the day and before her night bedtime. With 13,5 months she fell asleep in my arms and I put her down without giving her her 'private dummy' as she needed 'them' just before she wanted to drift off. My husband went in when she woke a few hours later, as she wanted her 'natural dummy' and gave her some unsweetened fennel tea which has a natural sweet taste by itself, out of a cup with a drinking spout, as she would have never taken a normal bottle. She only started using a dummy about two weeks after she was off the breast. Before she used the dummy (which was lying in her cot as a toy) to knock on the bed,for us a sign that she will be sleeping soon. She never knew what to do with it before. The next night I went in when she woke, making sure she doesn't get to close to my boobs to smell milk and gave her tea without any problems. She got a runny nose a few days after weaning, as I still had milk (I didn't take any hormones to make it stop, remember nature does everything better, so I let them 'dry out' naturally) I just gave her my breast again and put some breast milk in her nose, which clears the nose quickly. The nose was fine again the next day and I stopped feeding her again without any problems. A few weeks later she fell hard and again, as there was still milk, I put her on again to comfort her. That was also one of the things I loved about it, your baby stops crying immediately when you put it to your breasts, when they are sore or tired. My husband called them the 'magic boobs'. I took her off again without any problems. I weaned her because I had for months a constant runny nose and thought that is due to feeding her over a year and my immune system being 'sucked empty'. A year later, after 'enjoying' the second time a few of the South African spring months, I found out that it is my terrible allergies to some pollen (Thanks again, mom). That's why I decided that my future second child will get my milk at least two years. I must also say that we never experienced colic or excessive crying. She did not cry very often during the night and if she did, it was mostly not longer then 20 minutes. My husband is the perfect 'rocker' or she calmed down while she was sucking on the breast. She also up to this day never had diarrhoea, or other common baby illnesses, like ear infections and so on. We only had some 'runny ones' much later, when she could not stop eating fruits some days. I can thank God as I am very grateful for that and I don't want to sound vain as well; most of you will probably not believe me, but I promise it is the truth, when I tell you that our child had up to this point only one night higher temperature of 38,3ºCelsius without any other symptoms. She was never really sick. Her always only slightly runny nose, which I can count on one hand, throughout the whole year never lasted longer than 4 days. The worse, or longest symptoms she's ever had was a slight cough for a week. She never up to this day, got ANY medication and the only time she saw a doctor was for her routine check ups. Do you think we are just lucky?I don't think so! I believe that everything you do, or everything you do not do will come back to you and I think that we only harvest what we have sown.

If you want to read more or empower a friend, a sister or anybody you know who is pregnant, or breastfeeding at the moment go to www.promom.org to read '101 REASONS TO BREASTFEED YOUR CHILD' and other very interesting articles.

You can download a range of informative leaflets, including one for new moms called 'Questions New Mothers Ask' from www.abm.me.uk.

If you would like to read some very critical stuff about the politics of formula milk companies go to www.babymilkaction.org

Also read 'The politics of breastfeeding' by Gabrielle Palmer at www.unicef.org

Sorry, English is not my first language so forgive me any written mistakes.