Puberty

I think a child going through puberty and a toddler are more alike than they wish to admit. I mean think about it, they sulk, act out and don't talk to their parent. They have body changes happening that they most probable don't understand, and they are forced into a world that are bigger than they ever can imagine. Now looking at puberty from this angle might keep you sane – I mean you did survive their toddler years, how bad can puberty be?

Puberty is unfortunately worse; you have less control and your child more resources to trick you. You need to be smarter and more aware than you have ever been, yet still be able to trust your child in knowing that you provided a solid base from where to launch the journey into becoming an adult.  You also need to be aware that there are issues your child might need to discuss and that in most cases they do not wish to discuss it with you... Where does this leave you? You need to plan ahead and ensure that your child have other people that they can talk to who will provide them with proper guidance and support when they no longer want to ask you.

Unfortunately this means that the questions you would like to answer most, and be able to influence would no longer fall within your realm of control. You also can't push the issue as your child will only open up when they feel the need. You do however need to ensure that your child knows that you love and care for them regardless what happens. You will always be there.

So what are the issues most burning in your child's mind? Well a couple of issues as outlined by KidsHealth are about menstruation, girls don't know it all and need to find more information about what they can use and when should they use it. Girls are concerned about breast and boys about testicle development these are common concerns for children going through puberty. 

Other issues for children in this age group who are so aware of their bodies and the changes that is occurring it that they feel uncomfortable with the idea of going to medical professionals of the opposite sex.

A common issue is also that some children feel ostracised by the opposite sex, and they want to know why they are not liked. Or alternatively how they can tell someone that they don't like them without being hurtful.
In a nutshell you should remember the following:

• Your child are going through change which are not just physical but also emotional and hormonal. Be thoughtful of this and try and be supportive of their first steps to independence.
• Your child do not know what to expect from their physical changes and ensure you try and have this discussion with them before the process starts. This might make it less frightening.
• Your child will start showing more interest in the relationships and you should be a role-model from which to follow. Also try and talk to your child about relationships and how they work maybe tell them how you and your spouse met.
• Ensure that you have time for your child and vice versa, even if it is just one sit-down dinner a week, make sure the whole family is there. Keep the tone light if you need to have a heart-to-heart this is not the time for it.
• Be informed, make sure your child does not exclude you from their life, you should be part of the decision making processes. Although your child think they have it under control the chances are they have not, and you need to provide them with alternative options.
• Have rules, just the way you always had them, your children should know the boundaries and what will happen if those are tested.

For a complete list of Questions with Answers as outlined by KidsHealth go to: http://kidshealth.org/kid/personal_qs/index.html