Parenting forums

I do not understand them, do you?

I have been looking at a couple of forums lately, and I am baffled. How do they work and what are their purpose? Are they there so a couple of well meaning mothers (and fathers) can assist the rest of the parenting community with stories of how they did it? Are they areas where people can tell stories beyond believe, how they managed to give their two month old a honey and peanut butter sandwich while strapped into a back-facing baby seat, facing front, on the front seat; and nothing happened, or worse.

I am trying hard not be judgemental about parenting methods, and I do think that you should do what works for you, but within reason. But do each parent have their own reason and limits that they have and thus makes that statement an open-ended one, that anything goes?

I am also not sure what the responses are that some people would like to have on a forum; I mean if you tell people your child died, or you had a miscarriage what is the response you want? Do you just want the whole community to say how sorry they are, and that they will be praying for you? Do you want people in your area to contact you, and maybe try and help you move on? Do you only want to hear from people with the same or similar experiences?

I understand that with the internet people are able to talk and share so much easier, I also wonder about how people who struggle with the same problem will each have their own forum, why not see if someone else had a problem see what everyone said, and then maybe ask questions about your situation, what sets your problem apart from the others.

Maybe that is just the way these forums work, they are just a public base to say I have this and this problem, talk to me; based on the response people might become friend and/or set up a network of mothers that they trust for guidance.  Do they want to be challenged by others in their situations? I don't think so.

Parenting is such a personal experience and as that people take exception if you tell them what they did, think or say are silly, stupid, dangerous or off the wall. We as parents don't want to be judged we do enough of that ourselves.

So why go onto a public forum? Well to share to help to see what others are doing. I think there are a couple of good posts I've seen here are they in a nutshell:

• Don't take anything you read on a public forum as the Gospel, you still need to look into things yourself to ensure that what you think is a solution, is in fact that.
• If you don't trust your medical professionals judgement, you need to find another one, and keep on looking until you find one you can trust.
• The internet is NOT country based and each country has their own way of dealing with medication, and the chain of command. You need to maybe state where you are from if you go onto an international site to air your views, as this would ensure that people understand where you are coming from... or try to at least.
• Keep an open mind.
• Don't take things too personal, in parenting people are bound to disagree.

Regardless of what you think, you need to be mindful that although you are entitled to your opinion so are others.