The mothering myth

I wonder who is bottling and selling the notion that mothering is a completely natural and normal flow of being a woman? - It is in all likelihood a man.

Have you ever noticed that [most] men have the idea that woman are born with a telepathic connection to their young. Take my husband for example in the odd event that our bundle of joy, wake us at night - he would immediately ask: "Is it the dummy?" as though I - waking from deep sleep - would immediately know what is wrong.

Bearing in mind that Mia is residing in her our room down the hall it would make my psychic powers all the more wondrous if I SHOULD be able to honestly answer that question. But he REALLY thinks that I have the power to KNOW.

Also have you closely watched new parents, when baby starts to communicate (complain) the proud farther promptly hands baby back to mommy? If asked the answer is that she knows how to deal with this, she KNOWS what to do... and us woman feed this myth.

It would take a train running over you sideways before you would in the softest of voices say that YOU ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW, and that YOU are AS flustered with this crying "communication" as anyone else in the room, but there you are calm and serene, taking baby and praying that you get it right, God forbid that you are not seen as the natural mother.

But you know what? It is OK to say that you don't know; it is OK to say that you're feeling this or that way, it is OK to say that you need help. It is OK to say that all those fancy books did not offer any help and that you are more confused than you were before. It is also OK to understand that in our daily lives we do very little naturally.

We neither plant nor harvest, we are rarely quiet to enjoy what nature has to offer, we had a pregnancy specked with the latest of technologies, not to mention work stress. So why should we as if magic turn out to be earth mother? - With all the natural tendencies of mothering. We run meetings we Google and Facebook, we Blackberry and network, this is our daily lives, this is who we were - yet we are expected to just KNOW...

For mothering there is a complete set of new rules:

• You can't plan - you can just be prepared as much as possible.
• You need to ask and accept help and advise when needed, select two people at most whom you trust to provide you with advise and not every Tom, Dick or Harry, [which is your case might be Joe, Jane and Hannah].
• You need to ALLOW your hubby to help and to be part of this experience.
• You are allowed to say I DON’T KNOW.
• You need to relax and breathe.
• You need to understand that your baby does not judge your ability, but love you unconditionally.
• Relax and enjoy it as much as possible
• And the most important: Sleep as much as you can.
  
  My husband said to tell you, you SHOULD TRUST YOUR INSTRINCTS!!!