To bed with a bottle

Being the mother of a reflux baby I have never had the privileged other mothers have to put their children in bed with a bottle. My sisters had differing opinions.

My eldest sister was honest and confessed that as soon as her kids could grasp their hands around the bottle it was in bed with them, no more feeding cuddles, with her listening for the sound of the flop as the empty bottle is rocketed out of the crib.

My middle sister was a breastfeeding fundi and exclaims that was it not for antibiotics which stopped her from breastfeeding at 4 months and her daughters refusal of her breast after this week's laps, she would most probable still be breastfeeding – the idea is scary considering that her daughter turned 13 this year. Needless to say there was no bottles in cribs for he off spring, there nearly was no crib. She boast to endless rocking and cuddles – hours of kangaroo care and snuggles.

My only other sister, was a no nonsense mother who also did the bottle in cot procedure with both her offspring. Back at work in a high powered job does not allow for night feeds and cuddles.

I on the other hand was up with every feed, keeping my daughter at 30º then upright for 45 minutes. We have photos of her sleeping whilst being held upright. The idea with a bottle in her cot were unthinkable considering the discomfort she had during feeding and directly after.

When she started daycare I told the day mother very specifically that she was not to be put down after feeds for at least 45 minutes. So much more the horror when I found out (by chance) shortly before she ended up in hospital that she was being bottle fed in her cot – or rather left in her cot to her own devices with her bottle. So much more my dismay when I confronted the day mother and were told that this is standard practice to feed in bed from the age of four months. I did not give it any thought again I moved my bundle of joy to another day mother, one that could follow orders. Although this was not the only reason but it did not count in her favour. Gone were the months of ear infections!

I put this all behind me and it was only when we started play school when I started thinking of this again. Every afternoon, as I went to fetch my daughter all the other kids who were there for after-care were all put to bed with a bottle.

Lying on their mattresses in neat rows, and ever so quiet with only sucking noises coming from the corner they were all happily lying with bottle in mouth. I looked, I focussed, I shuddered... did the working parents of these children know that this was the status quo? How many of these kids were suffering from recurring ear infections? How many of them were given grommets to prevent recurring ear infections? Did the parents know about the link between lying and feeding and ear infections? The questions were endless... the answers few.

In principle I understand that this is an easy way to get your child to sleep, I understand the convenience of this from a short-term perspective. I do however want to warn you as parents that you might want to check and ask what your day care's routine is to get your child to sleep. If you do not approve of bottle feeds whilst lying down and think that this will not happen to your child, you might want to ask your caregiver about this as soon as possible.

If you are a parent who have opted for this and have a child struggling with recurring infections, gum ear, and on the short list for grommets you might want to reconsider. If you are a parent who have opted against this; then you have to be all the more vigilant to ensure that your respective caregiver understands and respect your decision.

Do not be ever trusting like I was that if you have told your day mother that your child should be kept upright after her feeds, that she understood that she should be kept upright whilst feeding as well...