Prepare to breastfeed

When I was pregnant I did everything possible, to do what I saw at that stage to be the best for my daughter, I did all the check-up and scans possible. The one that I did not manage to do was to breastfeed successfully.

An interesting thought transpired while I was talking to my sister; you will take time off work to go to the doctor, scans and any other test possible; to prepare for the birth of your child, yet very little time and energy is taken up in preparation to breastfeed.

In the past couple of months I have had lots of conversations about breastfeeding the problems and general ideas surrounding it. I now know that I was neither able nor capable of making informed choices when I was trying to breastfeed; and in that were unsuccessful.

So here are a couple of things that I have distilled from these conversations that I think could make a difference in a mothers ability to breastfeed and her experience thereof.

Get support:
The one thing any person needs when they have a new baby is support – it is however not always possible to have an expert on all subjects at hand, and as that you need someone who has successfully breastfed before to assist you. It is thus important to try and slot in with a breastfeeding support group in the last three months of your pregnancy.

It sounds ludicrous but trust me you will thank me later. The first thing you would find at these groups are women who have had problems breastfeeding, yet have been able to overcome their problems and breastfeed successfully. You should also be able to find someone you can trust when you need some assistance within these groups. Trust me the stories you will hear will help you keep  your head up when times get rough.

These groups are also mostly free of charge and will be able to offer help when needed, if they are not able to assist they will refer you to a lactation consultant. Although these consultants are irreplaceable you might find that your initial niggles are easily solved without their assistance.

You also have a good chance of meeting a person at one of these groups which will be able to assist you through your baby-blues and pyjama drills. It is great if your mother or another close member of your family is at hand; but it does help to also have someone with current mothering skills at hand.

It is also important that the person who assists you have breastfed successfully in the past and are thus aware of the possible problems you (might) face.

Inform yourself:
When you are pregnant you try and find out as much as possible about what is going on, with you and your baby; and what you can expect.

Yet breastfeeding was very low on my list of information gathering. I spend little to no time on it, and the hour or so that was used in the ante-natal classes were not nearly enough to make an informed choice.

I thus left one of the most important decisions a mother can make to medical professionals, and took the easy (so I thought) way out and put Mia on formula.

Trust me if I knew then what I know today there is NO way I would have made the same choices, I would have persisted. I would not have thought about milk production constantly, I would not have stressed about Mia's weight gain. I would not have blamed myself and worry so much that I was incapable of breastfeeding; regardless of how badly I wanted to.

I also need to add here that your hormones being on a roller-coaster does not help you to think clearly; if you are also a first time parent you are an accident waiting to happen.

Take time to empower yourself with information, if you talk to people with a negative experience then remember that 95+% of all women are able to breastfeed successfully.

Look at the hospital:
It is important that you are aware of nipple confusion. In general no one can force you to use a dummy or pacifier, if you want to breastfeed successfully then you need to know that the use of any synthetic nipple will effect your ability adversely.

It is also important that you spend as much time as possible with your baby to bond and to get to know each other. Ensure that the hospital you choose understand that you will not tolerate bottles in the use of top-up feeds. Also remember that breast milk is so packed with nutrients that a little goes a long way.

It is also important that the hospital your choose is baby-friendly, and knows that you do not need or want to be separated from you child for ANY reason. Unless your child requires URGENT medical attention there is NO reason for you child not to be with you 24/7 – EVEN during the first night after you gave birth.

All hospitals will tell you they are baby-friendly, but if you start to ask about how they operate you might find that it is not the case. As I look back there were so many things I should have asked them about; so many unanswered questions, that I never asked.

At home:
One of the pitfalls for breastfeeding mothers could be the local clinic sister. They are there to help and support you to ensure your child “grow”.

As all mothers know – your child will drop in weight and it can take two weeks (or longer) for your baby to regain their birth weight. Your clinic sister might be over zealous in her attempts to ensure your child reach this go ASAP; and in doing so create a lot of confusion and havoc; in the end making you feel completely idiotic.

If you feel ANY discomfort with this sister or any other medical professionals then you need to move on find another one to take their place. You owe it to yourself and your child to find people that you feel you can trust.

DONT switch to formula because you struggle and feel incapable and worried. The biggest reasons for discontinuing breastfeeding is due to sore nipples and an worry about milk production. Both of these can be address and managed.

Stay Calm:
Yes you think it is easy for me to say – I have a toddler that grew up with formula, and... and... and... but it is THE biggest problem you are going to experience the first couple of days home.

No one can prepare you for this – how incapable you are going to feel. Even well meant advice can be taken as a personal attack, and as with your pregnancy it is important to filter what your hear and take it hence it comes.

If you are stressed your baby will get stressed, which will make you more stressed, which will make baby... it is a vicious cycle. This is a good time to start practising “time-outs” - YOU take TIME-OUT!!!! Remove yourself from the situation and bring yourself under control; then try again. This will work better for all; don't get pulled in; it will make breastfeeding near impossible which will lead to more tension.

Be realistic in what you expect from yourself and your baby, if you feel out of depth try and think how this little person who is in your care feels.

These are just a few of the things I have learned, for me and my daughter it is too late, I hope that it can assist you...