I must have been adopted.

I can still very much remember how I felt when I was pre-teen. I was sure that I was adopted and that my family just not had the heart to tell me. I was tearful and upset, I did not feel like I belonged.

It was not my parents or my sisters who cultivated these ideas, but very much like the Ugly Duckling in Women who run with the wolves, I felt that I ended up in the wrong family. Now years later I know that it was a phase of finding my feet, it was more myself not understanding me, than anyone else. I also understand that one day my daughter might have the same experience, and as a parent you can only watch as the sea of hormones turn your well balanced loved grounded child into a person that you do not know and not always like. Remember though that just as those toddler years when your child was frustrated and had a wealth of emotions which was not making sense so your pre-teen is going through a lot of change. The next couple of years could be difficult but remember that we have all survived these and that with love and understanding and mutual respect you will again weather this storm.

Try and remember how you felt in these years, you body being awkward, you outgrowing your child shoes and getting ready for those first steps to adulthood. You wanting to be treated like an adult yet wanting to be loved like a child. Give your child some space but remember to set-up the rules. Be there when they fall, and try and tell them of the pitfalls you can't live for them and now is the time to start letting go.

This is also a time where you can be proud of what you have achieved and look forward to years where your child will be person you have worked so hard at raising.

These are days of lying awake and wondering thinking yet believing that your child will do the right thing. Good luck on the journey that you will take with this soon to be teenager, the road might not always be easy but know that you will reap the fruits of your effort and love, and just as with a garden where you have given it love and attention, you will always see the fruits of your labour.