PlanetParent – A web site dedicated to making parenting easier

Kanga Method 3rd Principal – Trusting

Olga Lipkovics [07 February 2011] -

Here I’m again, talking about the 3rd Principal: Trusting.

Trusting is extremely important. It is the fundamental base of every single relationship in our life:
Friends/Girlfriend-Boyfriend/Husband-Wife/Employer-Employee etc. etc.
And I think we always forgot to mention the most important relationship: Me-Me/You-You

Parenthood

Petro Pretorius [07 February 2011] -

We all think we know what it means yet it is such an amazing bond and relationship that it is difficult to find a real way to verbalise and explain this to someone who has not yet this experience.

Why does s/he do it????

Olga Lipkovics [27 January 2011] -

This is the most difficult part to get used to it as a brand new mom and dad. Yes, I’m talking about crying. Babies cry. This is a fact. We need to learn to figure out what’s wrong with our beautiful, healthy baby. It is so hard, because we need to learn to listen. Listen to our baby’s cue and listen to our instinct.

Do corporates have a social conscience?

Petro Pretorius [20 October 2010] -

As a parent you want to do the best for your baby. As new parents you hear lots of advise from many different people. We trust brands that have been around for ages to provide our babies with the best our money can buy. Yet are they actually coming to the party?

Organic

Petro Pretorius [20 October 2010] -

Is this just another “new age” idea or what is organic all about?

In most instances you will do well to think that organic is just another label that is slapped on your food to ensure that can be charged more. This is actually not the case.

Breastfeeding myths

Petro Pretorius [16 August 2010] - It has been over three years since I have breastfed, but my daughter had breast milk daily for the last couple of days. She is three and a half and has an immune deficiency. If I had known what I know today I would not have given up trying to breastfeed when she was 11 days old. The system has failed me and the system will most probable fail a lot of other parents before we are able to change the system.

Can I spoil my baby?

Olga Lipkovics [16 August 2010] -

well, the answer is a big definite NO. Do not worry, you simply just can’t spoil your newborn baby. I think it is a great news.

The second principal of Kanga Method is Accepting.

Olga Lipkovics [16 August 2010] -

I know, it’s one of the “easy to say hard to do” things. I think most of the people most of the time simply just not capable of accepting. They don’t even know about they have this issue but it causes serious problems in their life. It is important that you have a clear idea about your life in your head, because it helps you to achive your goals, but if you are following your plans too rigidly it may cause difficulties and unwanted challenges for you. You have to listen to your instinct while following a plan and be flexible about it.

Baby-wearing

Olga Lipkovics [18 May 2010] - Baby-wearing is a mind-set.

You need to get ready to wear your baby. You need to get ready physically but most importantly you need to get ready emotionally.

You need to have an open mind to understand that wearing your baby is a hard work but it is something you do for your baby and it has long-term benefits.

Human trafficking, the scary side of the World Cup

Petro Pretorius [17 March 2010] - Written by By Rebecca Pursell | 03 December 09
The Soccer World Cup represents major economic opportunities for South Africa. It represents the possibility of showcasing South Africa to the world, and everything it is possible of accomplishing. However, the less glamorous side is the possible increase in sexual exploitation and human trafficking.

The greatest parenting tool

Frederick van Wyk [09 March 2010] -

To be “in love” is the best gift you can give your child. Genuine! There is nothing better you can give your child, and this world, but to be “in love”. In fact, it is the most powerful weapon you have – and also the most powerful weapon you can put in your child’s hands.

The Importance of Skin to Skin Contact

Jack Newman [11 February 2010] - There are now a multitude of studies that show that mothers and babies should be together, skin to skin (baby naked, not wrapped in a blanket) immediately after birth, as well as later. The baby is happier, the baby’s temperature is more stable and more normal, the baby’s heart and breathing rates are more stable and more normal, and the baby’s blood sugar is more elevated. Not only that, skin to skin contact immediately after birth allows the baby to be colonized by the same bacteria as the mother. This, plus breastfeeding, are thought to be important in the prevention of allergic diseases. When a baby is put into an incubator, his skin and gut are often colonized by bacteria different from his mother’s.

Slow Weight Gain Following Early Good Weight Gain

Jack Newman [11 February 2010] - Sometimes, babies who are doing very well with exclusive breastfeeding alone for the first few months, start not to gain as well after two to four months. This may be normal, because breastfed babies do not grow along the same growth curves as formula fed babies, and sometimes it may appear that they grow too slowly, when in fact, it is the formula fed baby who is growing too quickly. Breastfeeding is the normal, natural, physiologic way of feeding infants and small babies. Using the formula feeding baby as the model of normal is irrational and leads us to make errors in advising mothers about feeding and growth.

Lactation Aid

Jack Newman [11 February 2010] - A lactation aid is a device that allows a breastfeeding mother to supplement her baby with expressed breastmilk, formula, glucose water with added colostrum or glucose water without using an artificial nipple. The early use of an artificial nipple may result in the baby becoming "bottle spoiled" or "nipple confused" because it interferes with the way a baby latches on to the breast. Actually, the baby is not confused. The baby knows exactly what the score is. If he goes to the breast and gets little milk and slow flow and then gets a bottle with rapid flow, especially in the first few days, most can figure that one out fairly quickly.

Hugs

Petro Pretorius [08 February 2010] - The following was emailed to me and the author is unknown.

It has been proved that showing affection strengthens growth and positive development in people. We all need physical contact to feel good, and one of the most important ways of physical contact between two people is hugging.

Expressing Milk

Jack Newman [06 February 2010] - Many women are under the impression that it is necessary to own or use a pump to breastfeed. This is not so. You do not need a breast pump to breastfeed; uninformed use of a breast pump can lead to premature weaning. There are very few circumstances under which it is necessary to express your milk.

Finding a Lactation Consultant

Jack Newman [06 February 2010] - Finding a Lactation Consultant or breastfeeding-support person may seem like a daunting task but it is well worth the effort.

Finger and Cup Feeding

Jack Newman [06 February 2010] -

Finger feeding is a method that helps train the baby to take the breast. It should not be used solely to avoid giving the baby artificial nipples, but instead, primarily to help latch on a baby who isn’t latching, (See handout The Baby Who does Not Yet Latch) therefore, finger feeding should not be used as a method of supplementation if baby is already latching on to the breast.

Cup Feeding (and similar vessels like spoon, etc) is a method of feeding baby that has been around for a very long period of time. It should be used to feed a baby who is not yet taking the breast. This should not be used to supplement a baby who is taking the breast.

Unsupporting Healthcare Professionals

Jack Newman [06 February 2010] - Most healthcare practitioners say they are supportive of breastfeeding. But many are supportive only when breastfeeding is going well, and some, not even then. As soon as breastfeeding, or anything in the life of the new mother is not perfect, too many advise weaning or supplementation.

The following is a partial list of clues that help you judge whether the health professional is supportive of breastfeeding, at least supportive enough so that if there is trouble, s/he will make efforts to help you continue breastfeeding.

Herbal Remedies for Milk Supply

Jack Newman [06 February 2010] - The following describes the use of some herbal treatments for breastfeeding mothers who are having various problems

Breastfeeding and Illness

Jack Newman [06 February 2010] - Over the years, far too many women have been wrongly told they had to stop breastfeeding. The decision about continuing breastfeeding when the mother takes a drug, for example, is far more involved than whether the baby will get any in the milk. It also involves taking into consideration the risks of not breastfeeding, for the mother, the baby and the family, as well as society. And there are plenty of risks in not breastfeeding, so the question essentially boils down to: Does the addition of a small amount of medication to the mother’s milk make breastfeeding more hazardous than formula feeding? The answer is almost never. Breastfeeding with a little drug in the milk is almost always safer. In other words, being careful means continuing breastfeeding, not stopping. The same consideration needs to be taken into account when the mother or the baby is sick.

Breastfeeding and Jaundice

Jack Newman [06 February 2010] - Jaundice is due to a buildup in the blood of bilirubin, a yellow pigment that comes from the breakdown of old red blood cells. It is normal for old red blood cells to break down, but the bilirubin formed does not usually cause jaundice because the liver metabolizes it and gets rid of it into the gut. The newborn baby, however, often becomes jaundiced during the first few days because the liver enzyme that metabolizes bilirubin is relatively immature. Furthermore, newborn babies have more red blood cells than adults, and thus more are breaking down at any one time. If the baby is premature, or stressed from a difficult birth, or the infant of a diabetic mother, or more than the usual number of red blood cells are breaking down (as can happen in blood incompatibility), the level of bilirubin in the blood may rise higher than usual levels.

Breastfeed a Toddler - Why on Earth?

Jack Newman [02 February 2010] -

Because more and more women are now breastfeeding their babies, more and more are also finding that they enjoy breastfeeding enough to want to continue longer than the usual few months they initially
thought they would. UNICEF has long encouraged breastfeeding for two years and longer, and the American Academy of Pediatrics is now on record as encouraging mothers to breastfeed at least one year and as long after as both mother and baby desire. Even the Canadian Paediatric Society, in its latest feeding statement acknowledges that women may want to breastfeed for two years or longer and Health Canada has put out a statement similar to UNICEF’s. Breastfeeding to 3 and 4 years of age has been common in much of the world until recently in human history, and it is still common in many societies for toddlers to breastfeed.

Some Breastfeeding Myths

Jack Newman [02 February 2010] -

Do you think the following is true:

Many women do not produce enough milk
It is normal for breastfeeding to hurt
There is no (not enough) milk during the first three or four days after birth
A baby should be on the breast 20 (10, 15, 7.6) minutes on each side.
A mother should wash her nipples each time before feeding the baby
It is easier to bottle feed than to breastfeed
Modern formulas are almost the same as breastmilk

If you think any of these statements are TRUE then you need to read this article.

Breastfeeding - Starting Out Right

Jack Newman [02 February 2010] - The vast majority of mothers are perfectly capable of breastfeeding their babies exclusively for about six months. In fact, most mothers produce more than enough milk. Unfortunately, outdated hospital policies and routines based on bottle feeding still predominate in too many health care institutions and make breastfeeding difficult, even impossible, for too many mothers and babies. For breastfeeding to be well and properly established, a good start in the early few days can be crucial. Admittedly, even with a terrible start, many mothers and babies manage.

Breastfeeding the Premature Baby

Jack Newman [02 February 2010] -

Some Myths About Premature Babies and Breastfeeding:

Premature babies need to be in incubators
Premature babies all need fortifiers
Premature babies cannot go to the breast until they are at 34 weeks gestation
Mothers of premature babies need to use nipple shields to get their babies latched on well and
getting milk well
Premature babies need to learn to take a bottle which teaches them how to suck

Colic in the Breastfed Baby

Jack Newman [02 February 2010] -

Colic is one of the mysteries of nature. Nobody knows what it really is, but everyone has an opinion. In the typical situation, the baby starts to have crying periods about two to three weeks after birth. These occur mainly in the evening, and finally stop when the baby is about three months of age (occasionally older). When the baby cries, he is often inconsolable, though if he is walked, rocked or taken for a drive, he may settle temporarily. For a baby to be called colicky, it is necessary that he be gaining weight well and be otherwise healthy.

Is My Baby Getting Enough Milk?

Jack Newman [02 February 2010] - Breastfeeding mothers frequently ask how to know their babies are getting enough milk. The breast is not the bottle, and it is not possible to hold the breast up to the light to see how many ounces or millilitres of milk the baby drank. And this is a good thing!! We are not supposed to know how much the baby is getting but rather is baby getting enough. Our number-obsessed society makes it difficult for some mothers to accept not seeing exactly how much milk the baby receives. However, there are ways of knowing that the baby is getting enough. In the long run, weight gain is the best indication whether the baby is getting enough, but rules about weight gain appropriate for bottle fed babies may not be appropriate for breastfed babies. In the short term, there are ways to know if baby is satisfied by looking at how well the baby feeds, and by looking at the baby in general.

Cultural differences

Petro Pretorius [12 November 2009] -

Meeting that special person and settling down to have a long and happy life together seems to not be too much to ask, but where the Disney movie ends there are a number of realities which needs to be dealt with when the honeymoon is over. In many cases culture and religion are clear stumbling blocks which will offer some interesting problem solving possibilities, but these are not the only challenges you will face.

A prayer for children

Petro Pretorius [29 October 2009] - Ina Hughs - We pray for the children who sneak Popsicles before supper, who erase holes in math workbooks, who can never find their shoes. And we pray for those who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire, who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers, who never "counted potatoes," who never go to the circus, who live in an X-rated world.

“The girl who used to be me...”

Petro Pretorius [28 October 2009] -

I love the movie Shirley Valentine for a couple of reasons but mainly due to the theme song. This song captures a longing for the person you were, the things you would do, but ultimately the movie also teaches you to celebrate who you are.

Creative Cape Town Moms

Petro Pretorius [28 October 2009] -

I received the following via email. I neither know the mom's who compiled this document, but I do know that they just show how well things come together if a couple of mothers put their heads together and try and come up with a parenting resource.

Sixth children’s story series by former teacher

Petro Pretorius [12 October 2009] -

Seven years after noticing a need in the market for quality story products for South African children, Anna Emm left her teaching job and registered a production company. Since then Anna Emm Productions has produced more than 500 original children’s stories on CD and 13 children’s theatre productions! The “Story Club” is the latest series of children’s story-CDs created by this former primary school teacher.

The age of innovation

Petro Pretorius [09 October 2009] -

I have pondered the age of innovation over a couple of flu tabs, and lots of fluids – unfortunately nothing more spectacular than water. Yet I found that as parents we feel it our calling to mould our child to behave. This behaviour are in most cases that with which the greater society would feel comfortable, yet are we doing our children any favours?

Boosting Immunity

Petro Pretorius [02 October 2009] -

It seems that with the swine flu becoming a reality in South Africa, out better judgement has gone through the window.

New smoking laws

Petro Pretorius [01 October 2009] - So you are looking for child-friendly places – now in my mind that includes area where children can play OUTSIDE without you worrying about secondary smoke.

2 going onto 15

Petro Pretorius [28 September 2009] -

My theory that there is very little difference between a toddler and a teen were given an extra push this weekend as I had a house full of people amongst which half were teens. To my surprise I was not the one to mention this but one of the teens.

Homework a parent's guide

Petro Pretorius [21 September 2009] -

In a society where a lot more is required from learners it is easy to fall into the trap of taking over your child's projects or research. Where is the line between healthy support and not allowing your child to learn from reality?

Parenting skills

Petro Pretorius [17 September 2009] -

I always wonder why it is always so easy to see what another parent is doing “wrong”. I mean you only need to look around you and I can bet that there are at least 1 time a day where you as a parent think that if it was my child I would have... but ultimately it is not you child and you are not the all seeing all knowing parent of that child you are a objective observer of the situation.

Going for it again?

Petro Pretorius [24 August 2009] -

I was amazed when I was at a mom's meeting and most women at the meeting said that they had their second child for the sake of the first. I thought that this is a ludicrous idea – I mean you have children because YOU wanted to not because your child wanted it...

Low muscle tone

Marlizet Dempers [15 August 2009] -

THE EPIDEMIC AND THE IMPORTANCE OF PLAY

Low muscle tone is the buzzword of the decade. What is it, and how does it affect our children? The official name for low muscle tone is Hypotonia. True muscle tone is the inherent ability of the muscle to respond to a stretch.

Great Expectations - August 2009

Petro Pretorius [07 August 2009] - Great Expectations is doing a 1 September SPRING BABY and ECO BABY show and we’re looking for guests. Anyone keen?

Solving Naptime Problems

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] - Napping is an important element of your child’s healthy mental and physical growth. A daily nap refreshes a child so that she can maintain her energy, focus, and ability to learn for the rest of the day. Some studies even show that children who nap every day are more flexible and adaptable, have longer attention spans and are less fussy than those who don’t nap.

The Baby Blues

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] - “...as many as 80% of new mothers experience a case of the baby blues that lasts for weeks after the birth of their baby...the most wonderful and committed mothers, even experienced mothers of more than one child, can get the baby blues.”

Choosing Toys for Babies

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] - You may not be sure what kind of toys, or how many, you baby should have. It’s likely that you hear conflicting advice that runs from one extreme to another! It’s either: “Don’t give your baby toys he’ll be spoiled,” to “Give your baby lots of toys they develop his brain.” So…which is it?

Handling Unwanted Advice

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] - “Help! I’m getting so frustrated with the endless stream of advice I get from my mother-in-law and brother! No matter what I do, I’m doing it wrong. I love them both, but how do I get them to stop dispensing all this unwanted advice?”

Sleeping Through the Night?

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] - Here’s something that may really surprise you: As much as we may want our babies to sleep through the night, our own subconscious emotions sometimes hold us back from encouraging change in our babies’ sleeping habits. You yourself may be the very obstacle preventing a change in a routine that disrupts your life. So let’s figure out if anything is standing in your way.

Wonderful Sounds for Sleep

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] - The environment that your baby enjoyed for nine long months in the womb was not one of absolute quiet. There was a constant symphony of sound - your heartbeat and fluids rushing in and out of the placenta. (Remember those sounds from when you listened to your baby’s heartbeat with the Doppler stethoscope?) Research indicates that “white noise” sounds or soft bedtime music helps many babies to relax and fall asleep more easily. This is most certainly because these sounds create an environment more ar to your baby than a very quiet room.

Shifting Schedules – When to Change from Two Naps to One Nap

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] -

Author of The No-Cry Nap Solution

During the early years of life, nap schedules are in a continuous state of change. After a newborn period of all-day napping, babies eventually settle into a regular two-nap-a-day routine. Most children switch from these two daily naps to one nap sometime between the ages of 12 and 24 months. However, that year of difference is a very long span of time. This shows that age alone is not the only factor to consider when changing your baby’s nap routine.

Cat-Naps -- Making Short Naps Longer

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] - Author of The No-Cry Nap Solution

Is your child a cat-napper? Does your baby fall asleep being fed, while in a car seat, sling, rocker, or someone’s arms? When transferred to bed, does your baby then sleep 30 to 50 minutes? That’s the exact length of one sleep cycle. These factors combined define the main cause of mini-naps: an inability to fall asleep or stay asleep without aid – your baby wakes fully at the end of the first sleep cycle, resulting in a too-short nap. I refer to this problem as One-Cycle Sleep Syndrome (OCSS). This leads us to understand the reason that many babies are cat-nappers and also directs us to potential solutions.

The Nap-Resister: When Your Child Needs a Nap but Won’t Take One

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] -

Author of The No-Cry Nap Solution

Daytime naps might last just a few short hours, but they can affect all twenty-four hours of a child’s day. Naps can improve a child’s mood and reduce fussiness, crying, whining, and tantrums. Studies show that children who nap daily get sick less often, grow taller, and are less likely to be obese when they grow up. Naps enhance attention span and brain development. Naps can also help make up for any shortage in nighttime sleep. Even a one hour shortage in overall sleep hours can have a negative effect on a child – compromising alertness and brain function, and increasing fussiness and fatigue.

Why Short Cat-Naps Are Not Good Enough

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] - Author of The No-Cry Nap Solution

If your child’s naps are shorter than an hour and a half in length, you may have wondered if these brief naps provide enough rest for your little one. You might suspect that these catnaps aren’t meeting your child’s sleep needs – and you would be right. The science of sleep explains why a short nap takes the edge off, but doesn’t offer the same physical and mental nourishment that a longer nap provides.

The Volcano Effect: Why Skipping a Nap Results in Meltdown

Elizabeth Pantley [06 August 2009] - Author of The No-Cry Nap Solution

From the moment your child wakes in the morning he is slowly using up the benefits of the previous night’s sleep. He wakes up totally refreshed, but as the hours pass, little by little, the benefits of his sleep time are used up, and an urge to return to sleep begins to build. When we catch a child at in-between stages and provide naps, we build up his reservoir of sleep-related benefits, allowing him a “fresh start” after each sleep period.

Baby tantrums

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - A baby’s first tantrum can take you by surprise. Your baby can really shock you by shrieking, stamping, hitting, or making his whole body go stiff. But don’t take it personally; baby tantrums aren’t about anything you’ve done wrong, and they aren’t really about temper, either – your baby isn’t old enough for that. The ways you’ll respond to your baby’s behavior when he is older are different than how you should respond now.

How to calm your crying baby

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - When we’re pregnant or awaiting adoption, we dream about our baby-to-be, we always envision those beautiful Hallmark card scenes: charming baby smiling up at peaceful mother’s face. We read books in advance of the big day about how care for a newborn how to bathe, feed and dress her and then we feel somewhat prepared. However, a crying baby was never part of that idyllic vision, so this takes us by surprise. But the fact is, all babies cry at one time or another. Some babies cry more than others, but they all do cry. Understanding why babies cry can help you get through this phase and respond effectively to your crying baby so can the list of ideas that follows.

Car Seat Crying

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - Some babies fall asleep almost before you’re out of the driveway, but others won’t spend five happy minutes in their car seats. Usually, this is because your baby is used to more freedom of movement and more physical attention than you can provide when she’s belted into her seat.

Choosing a baby carrier

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - Most parents find a baby carrier to be invaluable during the first year of their baby’s life. There are many types and styles to choose from. The different types of baby carriers fall into three main categories: slings, front packs and backpacks.

Colic

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] -

Does Your Baby Have it?

What Can You Do About It?

You may have heard the term colic applied to any baby who cries a great deal. Not all crying babies have colic, but all colicky babies cry and they cry hard. They may stiffen their little bodies, or curl up as if in pain. They may cry so hard that they don’t seem like they even know you are there. When babies cry like this, they take in a lot of air, which creates gas and more pain, which makes them cry even more.

Stop the Diaper Changing Battles

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - Babies are little bundles of energy! They don’t want to lie still to have their diapers changed. They cry, fuss, or even crawl away. A simple issue can turn into a major tug-of-war.

Eight sleep tips for every child

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - Up to 70% of children under age five have sleep problems. Sleep issues are complicated and have many causes. They’re hard to deal with because when children aren’t sleeping, parents aren’t sleeping, and that lack of sleep affects every minute of every day for every person in the family because lack of sleep isn’t just about being tired. Sleep has a role in everything -- dawdling, temper tantrums, hyperactivity, growth, health, and even learning to tie his shoes and recite the ABCs. Sleep affects everything.

First-Born Jealousy

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - Think about it: Before the baby entered your family, your toddler was told he’d have a wonderful little brother to play with, and how much fun it would be. Then the little brother is born and your toddler is thinking, “Are you kidding me? This squirming, red-faced baby that takes up all your time and attention is supposed to be FUN?” He then “plays” with the baby in the only ways he knows how. He plays catch. You yell at him for throwing toys at the baby. He plays hide-and-seek. You yell at him to get the blanket off the baby. He gives the kid a hug, and you admonish him to be more careful. Is it any wonder that your toddler is confused?

Get Your Toddler to Co-operate!

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - Toddlers and preschoolers require finesse to gain their cooperation, because they have not yet reached the age at which they can see and understand the whole picture, so simply explaining what you want doesn’t always work. Robert Scotellaro is quoted in The Funny Side of Parenthood as saying, “Reasoning with a two-year-old is about as productive as changing seats on the Titanic.” (He must have had a two-year-old at the time.)

Going Visiting With Your Baby

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - Babies love new places! There’s so much to investigate and new things to touch. But many people aren’t too happy to have your little one crawling or toddling freely about the house exploring everything in sight. While you think its adorable that Baby found the Tupperware, your host may not think it’s cute that her tidy cabinet has been rearranged by sticky baby hands. If your host has a big heart she’ll let you know that your baby’s exploring is okay. But even then, you run the risk of your baby breaking or losing something.

How to have a happy marriage...

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - Is your marriage everything you ever hoped it could be? Or has it been pushed down your list of priorities since having children? Let’s face it, parenthood is a full-time job, and it dramatically changes your marriage relationship. But marriage is the foundation upon which your entire family is structured. If your marriage is strong, your whole family will be strong; your life will be more peaceful, you’ll be a better parent, and you’ll, quite simply, have more fun in your life.

Moving from Crib to Bed

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - When your child moves from crib to bed it’s a milestone in his life as well as yours. There is no precise time for making this move, though typically it’s between the first and third birthday. The key to success is to be patient and allow your child time to adjust.

Newborn Babies and Sleep

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - Congratulations on the birth of your new baby. This is a glorious time in your life – and a sleepless time too. Newborns have very different sleep needs than older babies. This article will help you understand your baby’s developing sleep patterns, and will help you have reasonable expectations for sleep.

Separation Anxiety

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - My baby is only happy when I’m within arm’s reach. If I dare to leave the room, she cries as if I’ve left the country! I can’t even so much as take a shower these days, let alone leave the house without her. My mother-in-law says it’s because I’ve spoiled her. Is she right? Have I made her so clingy?

Postpartum Depression

Elizabeth Pantley [05 August 2009] - I know that it’s normal to have the “baby blues” right after you have a baby, but my son is six weeks old. I thought everything would be wonderful by now and I would be so in love with my baby. I thought mothering would come easily. It’s not that way at all! I can’t sleep, even when he’s sleeping. I feel hollow inside, like the real me is gone. Sometimes I cry for hours; other times, I feel angry enough to explode. Life feels like an endless amusement park ride, and sometimes I just want to get off. Why am I such a terrible mother?

My journey so far

Julie Hall [30 July 2009] -

My son is 8 months old now and boy has it been a huge learning experience. The first thing I have learned is to lower my expectations.

Everything you need to know to prepare for your baby

Petro Pretorius [23 July 2009] - For the sixth year running and with over 7 000 parents having attended to date, the Baby Sense Seminars will once again be bringing together leading experts in the field of birthing and parenting, with advice that makes exceptionally good sense for parents and expectant moms.

Perspective

Petro Pretorius [23 July 2009] -

Received via email and thought it is a must share especially in today's age where times are hard:
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

Kids ~ a fathers perspective

Petro Pretorius [20 July 2009] -

The following was received via email and although the author is unknown to me I think it is too brilliant not to share!

My plan before encountering this strange being called “Son” had been to maintain constant visual and physical contact for the duration of our coexistence in order to maximize the bonding process I had heard so much about. I abandoned this plan on Daddy Date 2 in favour of sleep. It was at some point in the intervening days that my child was replaced by some form of alien construct.

Prepare to breastfeed

Petro Pretorius [17 July 2009] -

When I was pregnant I did everything possible, to do what I saw at that stage to be the best for my daughter, I did all the check-up and scans possible. The one that I did not manage to do was to breastfeed successfully.

Step-parenting

Petro Pretorius [13 July 2009] -

We all grew up with the fairy tales of Cinderella and Hansel and Gretel and their wicked stepmother. With these being the archetypes we instil in our children's' minds regarding step-parents it is not a surprise that there are so many problems when sorting out the dynamics. Where dealing with your, mine and our children there are very seldom an easy way...

Being tested

Petro Pretorius [07 July 2009] -

I have had a very taxing year thus far. Things have not gone according to plan; and I am being tested. I wish the light at the end of the tunnel was the not the train but alas it seems I was mistaken... time and again.

Where should my baby sleep?

Erica Neser [24 June 2009] - Parenting 101
Module: Sleep Environment
Facilitator: Erica Neser

Assignment 1:
a) Study Figure 1 carefully, paying special attention to the positions of Mum, Dad, Ann and Ben.
b) Now take a pair of scissors and cut along the dotted line around figure 1 as indicated. Place the diagram in a large file. This file should be used for storing any information starting with the words “You should always …”, “By now your baby should be …”, “My child will never be allowed …”, “I will never …”, “In our day, we always/never …” et cetera.

Woolies Cookie Recipe

Petro Pretorius [23 June 2009] -

The internet is a powerful tool and as easy as it is to find information and demystify the world; it is to spread miss-information, viscous rumours and lies. As with most Internet folklore and myths nothing is ever new and even hoax emails are often dusted off and recycled as it the case with the Woolies cookie recipe...

Co-sleeping in the modern context

Erica Neser [22 June 2009] - Erica Neser is the author of Sleep Guide for Babies and Toddlers (Protea Books, 2006)

"Nature, if she be not interrupted, will do the whole business perfectly well; and there seems to be nothing left for a Nurse [or parent] to do, but to keep the child sweet and clean, and to tumble and toss it about a good deal, and keep it in good Humour." (William Cadogan, Essay on the Nursing and Management of Children, 1748)¹

What every parent should know about baby sleep

Erica Neser [22 June 2009] -

Compiled by Erica Neser, author of Sleep Guide for Babies and Toddlers

POINTS TO PONDER
Do you regard yourself as “spoilt” if you...

Sleep in the same bed as your partner?
Have a few sips of water during the night?
Wake up if the covers fall off the bed and you become cold?
Need three meals, two snacks, a cup of tea, three glasses of water and one glass of juice per day? (that’s 10 “feeds!”)
Need lots of love, affection, hugs and closeness from your loved ones?

No? Then why do people think babies are spoilt for needing the same things...?

And then you blink...

Petro Pretorius [16 June 2009] -

I was amazed that my sister's daughter had her matrix farewell last week. It feels like yesterday when we rushed to hospital so see her the first time. A time not too distant when she was a toddler and just too cute for words. Not too long ago when she asked me about boys; and then young men... I think in being faced with the reality that next year she will be exactly where I was when she was born just shows how fast it is all over...

Internet

Petro Pretorius [15 June 2009] -

We live in a society where we have access to the greatest amount of information in the shortest possible space in time, yet we choose to believe and forward information received via email because we are trusting and caring. We want to warn others!

WATCH OUT: DONT FALL VICTIM

Petro Pretorius [15 June 2009] -

The following hoax email is being circulated:

A man came over and offered his services as a painter to a lady who was buying petrol at a filling station. He gave her his "complimentary card". She said "No", but after some persuasion, she accepted his card out of kindness and got in her car.

To bed with a bottle

Petro Pretorius [13 June 2009] - Being the mother of a reflux baby I have never had the privileged other mothers have to put their children in bed with a bottle. My sisters had differing opinions.

My child did not come with a manual

Frederick van Wyk [04 June 2009] - When we were young children we thought our parents were super human. Their word was like the word of God. They could do nothing wrong and we felt so safe in their arms. This picture of cause changed as we became teenagers. Suddenly nothing mom or dad said was “cool” anymore. In fact they were so uncool we didn’t want to be seen with them when they dropped us off at school.

The LOVE of a MOTHER

Petro Pretorius [03 June 2009] -

The following were sent tome via email the author is unknown to me.

Eight Lies of a Mother
This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't
enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion
of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say
"Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry."
That was Mother's First Lie.

Workstations

Petro Pretorius [02 June 2009] -

In general if you mention the word computer safety the first thing that jumps to mind is to make sure you have the parental control surfing options selected, do you think any further?

Encouragement for Co-sleeping moms or anybody who thinks about doing so

Simela Petridou [25 May 2009] -

I've read this beautiful story at the end of a amazing book of Dr. William Sears (which I can only highly recommend and it should be read by any mother in my opinion, even those who don't agree with co-sleeping) and thought of sharing it with you:

Single mindedness

Petro Pretorius [14 May 2009] -

... a word that is something belonging to the male vocabulary. I mean lets be honest although you set out to single mindedly do something you ended doing something else at the same time. There is no getting away from multitasking which is a word completely embedded in the female vocabulary. Am I sexist? No, I am but a realist.

The Price of Children

Petro Pretorius [14 May 2009] -

The following were provided to me via email - author is unknown to me:

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with R1,681,470.00 for a middle income family. Talk about price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Petro Pretorius [14 May 2009] - The following were emailed to me - author unknown:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Reading milestones

Petro Pretorius [17 April 2009] - I always wonder about readers and non-readers, I mean I look at my husband as an example, he loves books, he is always buying book, he loves everything about books, yet he does not read...

When it is not reflux...

Petro Pretorius [02 April 2009] - Melissa Donnelly from Perth; Western Australia, tells us her story of trials and tribulations to find out what was the problem with her daughter; Brianna Mikayla Heath; seeing numerous doctors and being send from pillar to post, they did ultimately find an answer.

Rules – creating prisoners or free children?

Frederick van Wyk [30 March 2009] - When we were growing up as teenagers, we were saying things like: “I cannot wait to be a grown-up to make my own rules and be a free man. Where no one and nothing will dictate to me what I must do or not do.” Yet today, I am astounded when observing kids play, that they always place boundaries or fences in their play. I do sand play therapy with children, and the first objects they put in the sand, are the fences. These fences say: Within these boundaries the people, animals, and consequently myself, are safe. And only within those boundaries, can I be free.

Parenting choices

Petro Pretorius [25 March 2009] -

I don't know about you but I think that most if not all parents have only their child's best interest at heart. I also think that we spend too much time worrying about the issues, options and choices as oppose to enjoying our children.

Parenting forums

Petro Pretorius [23 March 2009] -

I do not understand them, do you?

Puberty

Petro Pretorius [05 March 2009] - I think a child going through puberty and a toddler are more alike than they wish to admit. I mean think about it, they sulk, act out and don't talk to their parent. They have body changes happening that they most probable don't understand, and they are forced into a world that are bigger than they ever can imagine. Now looking at puberty from this angle might keep you sane – I mean you did survive their toddler years, how bad can puberty be?

The Mayonnaise Jar

Petro Pretorius [04 March 2009] -

Mayonnaise Jars are wonderfull things. One of the quotes I remeber from how to live with life is also from the Mayonnaise Jar.

The young daughter about to go on her first date asked her father for advice; his response was that she should read the Mayonnaise Jar label.

What did she find? "Keep cool, but don't freeze, The following was emailed to me; and the author is unknown to me:
When things in your life seem, Almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

Sexual predators are targeting increasingly younger children

Petro Pretorius [24 February 2009] - The following article was provided to me by a very strong mother - she tells her family's story which is both heartfelt and a parent's worse nightmare. This is a glimps of their ordeal in her own words:

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you ever found someone sexually molested your child? It has always been my biggest fear and I waited for my child to be properly potty-trained before sending him of to crèche even though I was criticized by family and friends. Don’t think it won’t happen to you, it will!! Be prepared because sexual predators are targeting increasingly younger children.

Crèche syndrome?

Petro Pretorius [23 February 2009] -

Since Mia started crèche this year she has had a runny nose. At her two year check-up I mentioned this to the the paediatrician and she confirmed this was just a runny nose. Mia had no other symptoms that could be seen as her being ill. So after another 3 weeks of runny nose I had to take stock of what could be the problem.

Mean Mums

Petro Pretorius [20 February 2009] -

Received the following on email author is unknown to me:

Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean Mum told me: I loved you
enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.

My dearest daughter,

Petro Pretorius [19 February 2009] - The following was emailed to me the author is unknown to me.

My dearest daughter,
The day that you see me old I ask that you
please have patience and that,
above all, you try to understand,
my dearest daughter...

Empower your mind

Mariette Greyling [18 February 2009] - Never again will you go to work on autopilot, comfortable that the organisation will provide for and look after you.

Being a better parent

Petro Pretorius [16 February 2009] - Parents are daily trying their best, and as that they are not always doing too badly. There are a couple of ways to ensure that you stay in the clear and continue to bond with you child, at all ages.

Co-sleeping

Petro Pretorius [09 February 2009] - There are a lot of people for and against co-sleeping. In the US a new study launched are saying that there has been a dramatic rise in accidental strangulation and suffocation in bed since 1984. Although the study is not blaming co-sleeping there are a number of experts who do put the blame there. How does this effect you?

A well adjusted and emotional healthy child

Frederick van Wyk [27 January 2009] - When I had a busy psychology practice, I often wished I could share "my secrets" with more people - the everyday person on the street. I felt there was so much work to do, and I could only be with one person one hour at a time. I started thinking about how healing agents could reach more people. Teaching normal people, who don't have many degrees behind them, was the solution.

Tantrums

Petro Pretorius [23 January 2009] - This word implies such a lot to so many people that I think you can write a book on different approaches on dealing with them, as well as discussions on the quality of the tantrum and the responses received. Let's look at a couple of these...

Change...

Petro Pretorius [21 January 2009] - So it came that Mia goes to crèche for the first time this morning, she was home with me for nearly two months. This time was spend thinking of things to do to occupy our time together, enjoying her and playing all sorts of games. Now it is time to return to work and focus on the job at hand. Like many other mothers today in the Western Cape, I am sure, I feel a bit sad yet proud.

Stay at home mum

Petro Pretorius [27 November 2008] - Now the last couple of days my time has been hijacked by my one and only. She is at home for an extended holiday until she goes to crèche in the new year. First off hats off to the mothers who do this daily.

Geared for life

Petro Pretorius [11 November 2008] -

Memories are warped by our impressions of reality. If you think of the song "First of May": "When I was small and Christmas trees were tall..." this explain exactly what I mean. We as parents; as much as the memories that our children (will) have, will shape their reality and as that it is a huge responsibility.

Bullying

Petro Pretorius [07 November 2008] -

We all remember the school or class bully. The one throwing his weight around looking for a soft target, what should you do if he selected your child as his prey?

Cognitive development 2-7 years

Petro Pretorius [07 November 2008] - The development of a child at this level is dependent on what information is available to the child's senses; the interpretation of such; what he is told, and his skills level. Social and cultural factors also contribute to cognitive development.

FEMALE HEART ATTACKS

Petro Pretorius [06 November 2008] - This was emailed to me and the author is unknown to me, and although it is not directly related to parenting, it is important.

This outlines the signs to look for in a female heart attack, according to the outline it is very different from the male heart attack, and could be missed leading to death.

Blame it on TV

Petro Pretorius [04 November 2008] -

I am not sure if TV is completely to blame for the skewed vision people have of life in general or whether there are other culprits.

Out of the box

Petro Pretorius [03 November 2008] - In business and in your career thinking out of the box is an asset. Why is it then that we try and get our children to think inside the box?

Mommy to Mom to Mother

Petro Pretorius [28 October 2008] - The following was emailed to me, the original author is unknown to me.

Cognitive development 0-2 years

Petro Pretorius [27 October 2008] -

This phase of cognitive development is called the Sensorimotor period. This is the phase where motor-skills and sensory information is coordinated, your baby will thus turn to a sound to see what the cause is, and later crawl in the direction of where something interesting is to see or hear.

The speed of dark?

Petro Pretorius [23 October 2008] - One of my very smart & witty friends asked: "If the speed of light 1000,000 km/s, what is the speed of dark?" I gave him a very motherly answer...

The middle years - 6-12

Petro Pretorius [26 September 2008] -

There is so much said about the development of the preschooler that it sometimes seem that children between the ages of six and twelve are just left to their own devices. You hear lots about the toddlers and the terrible twos, not to mention what happens when the teens strike, but what happens in-between?

Cats and the Cradle...

Petro Pretorius [26 September 2008] - I am feeling as sick as anything today and was wondering where I would find the time to nurse myself and feel better before my husband and daughter comes home later today. This made me think about time.

Girls will be girls, and boys oh well...

Petro Pretorius [23 September 2008] -

I just walked past my shoes which Mia got hold of his morning and is piled in a heap, where she was viewed these and obviously decided that they do not meet her quality standards.

Family matters

Petro Pretorius [22 September 2008] -

It seems that children worrying about their parent's relationship, seems to face a greater risk of psychological problems.

Yes babies can suffer from heartburn

Petro Pretorius [19 September 2008] - I stopped counting the amount of times that I had to explain what Infant Gaviscon does whilst buying it at Clicks , and each time I got the same response: "I did not know babies got heartburn", well welcome to the world of gastro-oesophageal reflux disease; one of a couple of reasons why babies could be crying incessantly the first couple of weeks after they are born.

Lunch boxes

Petro Pretorius [17 September 2008] -

I can remember my primary school days my "lunch box"; which consist of a very bland apricot jam sandwich daily. I remember the wistful glances at the more glamorous lunches the other kids had. Brightly coloured boxes, and bottles with a variety of fruits and snacks. There was the Melrose cheese spreads the kids with the individually wrapped TUC biscuits, the kid with his crusts removed and his sandwiches daintily shaped in funny sizes and shapes. Oh how I was ashamed of my plastic bag with my scrunched sandwich, needless to say I never ate it, I would rather have gone without than to eat something that was so unworthy of a lunch box.

The dummy debate

Petro Pretorius [16 September 2008] -

The first "public outrage" regarding pacifiers, were noted in 1909 when someone complained about what she called "the persistent, and, among poorer classes, the universal sucking of a rubber nipple sold as a 'pacifier'."; this would not be the last of the complaints.

So everyone has an opinion about dummies or pacifiers whether you have a child, had a child or is childless, where they should be used, and when you should get rid of them.

Successful career & devoted mother. Can you really have it all?

Petro Pretorius [12 September 2008] -

The other day I was reading an article about how working mothers are treated more lenient and therefore take more liberties than their non-parent work colleagues. This was in a women's magazine and was quite interesting as it did tell the story from the single and childless point of view.

I must have been adopted.

Petro Pretorius [11 September 2008] -

I can still very much remember how I felt when I was pre-teen. I was sure that I was adopted and that my family just not had the heart to tell me. I was tearful and upset, I did not feel like I belonged.

Play ideas

Petro Pretorius [09 September 2008] - It does not matter where you are or how resourceful you are sooner or later you are stumped for play ideas. I was so lucky - one of my clients told me about the Early Learning Centre's play idea cards.

Technology in SA schools: good or bad?

Mariette Greyling [29 August 2008] -

In a world driven by technology and computers, survival and ultimately success depend on an understanding of both technology and computers. Question is, are our school learners equipped to understand today's technology? And more importantly, what is the level of competency on leaving school?

The right fit of school for your child

Mariette Greyling [29 August 2008] -

Choosing the right school for your child is a momentous decision, because this will affect who he becomes.

Unlocking your child's potential

Mariette Greyling [29 August 2008] - All parents want to see their child happy, successful and fulfilled. What to do to ensure that your young one lives his/her dream?

Food for Health

Mariette Greyling [28 August 2008] -

Long-term buoyant health is the result of good habits and wise choices from an early age. To enjoy health now and in the future, youngsters must learn how to eat, exercise, sleep and control stress. Today, feeding children is based on concerns about heart disease, diabetes, cancer and high blood pressure. But, sensible nutrition for children essentially boils down to the same rules that apply to adults.

Is my child ready?

Mariette Greyling [28 August 2008] -

Being ready for school is more than just about children. In the broadest sense, it also involves families, early environments, schools and communities. Children aren't innately ready or not ready for school. Their skills and development are influenced by their families and interaction with other people and environments.

PET RESPONSIBILITY

Mariette Greyling [28 August 2008] - Christmas is looming and with the season of goodwill come gifts. Often these gifts are pets. But pets are not toys. They entail a huge responsibility and not only should parents be conversant with the needs of the pet, children over the age of seven should be taught the ins and outs of responsible pet care.

Barriers to learning: nightmare or journey of self-discovery?

Mariette Greyling [28 August 2008] -

With official statistics indicating that between 15 and 20 percent of children suffer from learning disabilities, much ignorance prevails about detection, the pschological problems and corrective measures.

A learning disability is no longer seen as a fait accompli. In fact, it's become an opportunity to journey towards new horizons of self-discovery for not only learners and parents, but educators and professionals alike.

Twins or Multiples

Petro Pretorius [23 August 2008] - Most people feel that this is so cool, especially if this is your first pregnancy then you can have your family in one go. Most people do not think of the "double trouble" that lies ahead, the feeding and burping sessions, the sleepless nights.

Vaccinations

Petro Pretorius [23 August 2008] - To vaccinate your child is a personal choice you as a parent make in the interest of your child's health. Regardless of what your decision is it should be made after discussion with your health care professionals. This decision should be made once you have weight all the factors, the pros the cons. If you have doubts then you should keep on digging until you have found peace of mind.

Development 12-13 months

Petro Pretorius [23 August 2008] - At this age your child can show love and affection by means of kisses and hugs, as well as a number of other emotions.

MMR and Autism

Petro Pretorius [23 August 2008] - We've all heard about the study let's look at the facts and make an informed choice.

To all the great mums

Petro Pretorius [23 August 2008] - The following was forwarded to me via email the original author is unknown to me:

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked.

Dominance and genetic make-up

Petro Pretorius [23 August 2008] - A lot of time during pregnancy is spend on thinking what the baby would look and be like, colour of eyes, sex and personality. All of these traits are kept in the egg cell, and sperm and once they have formed one cell they share the genetic make-up of the two parents.

Being a mom

Petro Pretorius [23 August 2008] - The following was forwarded to me via email the original author is unknown to me:
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

Toys 3-5 years

Petro Pretorius [23 August 2008] - We all want the best for our childrens and as that we want to make sure that we are able to provide them with a stimulating environment

Development 16-17 months

Petro Pretorius [23 August 2008] -

You can expect your child to be able to do a couple of things at this age.